Official Opening Beside the Estate Agents in Bantry
Being a retired English bloke who happens to share the name of particular Estate Agent in Bantry, I often have quite a bit of time on me hands. Don’t get me wrong: I am enjoying my days as a retired British bloke in this beautiful country (where I have always been made feel as welcome as a vicar at a tea party, by the way), but there are days when I am literally leafing through the local paper or ringing my neighbours (or calling round to them) to quiz them about what sort of stuff might be happening just so’s I can while away some precious moments. Of course, it’s not entirely about using up my time either. I like to get involved. I like the old chin-wag, you know. I like to connect with people. That’s the kind of guy I am. I’m a connector, not a spectator. You see some people who come from England or Holland or wherever to this place and they just keep to themselves, reading their English papers, watching their English telly or whatever. And, they never come out and connect with people. You know what I mean? For example, the only paper I ever get is an Irish one – well, except on Saturdays when I get the Mail. Although now they’ve come out with a sort of hybrid so-called Irish Daily Mail which ain’t half as good. Anyway, there’s not much point in getting it ’cause it’s neither one nor the other. Also, even though I will admit that Irish tv is pretty lousy and there are things I do miss on the old telly, I refuse to get the cable service. That don’t half drive the missus mad! But I’m firm on this point – firm to a fault.
Anyways, I realise I’m rambling around a bit. The other day, I came into Bantry for the official opening of a new office. It’s actually not that new – it’s been there for, I don’t know, months and months. But, last Friday, the Irish minister for Social Affairs (I presume that’s his title – I’m not 100% sure) came to open the place up. It’s right beside me old pals at Harrington Estates. They were the first estate agents in Bantry I visited when I arrived in this country, and how they looked after me! Anyways, it was the opening of the West Cork Citizens’ Information Service. Don’t ask me what they do exactly, because I’ve never really found out, but my guess is that the title is a bloody good clue!
I like going to openings of things because there are always people to meet and say hello to. Even more interestingly, there are always refreshments. Gallery openings are the best, because they always have a bit of wine and a bit of cheese, which just happen to be 2 of my favourite things, as the song says. This particular opening didn’t have any wine (at least, none that I could find), but they did have some nice cakes to accompany the tea. I have to admit that I wasn’t officially invited: a neighbour of mine did get invited and he gave me the thing ’cause he didn’t want to go. I met a lot of nice people there and had a good old chin-wag. A lot of them were politicians too – nice people; more genuine than the bloody half-wits we have in England (you know I mean you and your gang, Mr. Blair!). We waited for over an hour to meet the minister himself. Apparently, he couldn’t land his helicopter in Cork airport because of fog, so he flew back to Dublin, changed to a plane that could land in fog and came back down again. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like one of the best excuses for a hangover I’ve ever heard! He did turn up later on, but I missed him. Never mind – better luck at the next high-profile opening.
CHESTER HARRINGTON – 16May 2006.
